I love men. Especially gorgeous men. Even more so gorgeous celebrity men. But what do I love above all those? The kind of celebrity men that are so gorgeous, I’d do many, many things to if the opportunity were to ever arise. Since we all know that’s a rather slim chance, I’m better off just creating a list of these guys – because what’s better than reading my strange commentary alongside an attractive man’s face and/or body? Well, there’s no time for me to waste, especially with 10 guys I could just ramble on about all day! Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Mind you, I originally wanted to do 25 but that was way too many. I went down to 20 and guess what? I got to number 17 twenty minutes later and realized that wouldn’t work…
So let’s start with number 10 and work our way up.
10. Tristan Macmanus
This guy’s just about got it all: fantastic personality, killer eyes, and an amazing Irish accent that makes me wanna pee my pants. Whenever he opens his mouth to speak, I literally scream for everyone in my house to stop talking so I can hear him that’s how much I’m in love with his accent. If I could marry that alone and then marry him, I would (if that even makes any sense at all). He’s such a good dancer (don’t judge, I watch Dancing with the Stars) and I applaud him for his fantastic work as a choreographer since he pretty much gets stuck with all these nasty, old, crusty ladies (minus Gladys Knight because she’s a legend and will never be any of those adjectives…so I guess I’m pretty much pointing fingers at Nancy Grace).
9. Devon Bostick
Ok, if I knew that Diary of a Wimpy Kid had him in it, I would’ve gone to see it much earlier…my best friend and I went and saw it a couple of years ago just because we wanted to see a movie and that was the only one playing. We read the books when we were kids, so we figured why not? Turns out the movie wasn’t so good (shocker, right? Please note the sarcasm there) but this guys performance right here saved it from drowning completely. I officially love this guy because he’s hilarious, sarcastic, witty, and adorable.
8. Jake Gyllenhaal
My lord, there is just something so undeniably sexy about this man…I personally think it’s those beautiful eyes and he’s got mile-long eyelashes, I’ll tell you that. And that crooked smile he’s got just knocks me dead every time…the last thing I saw him in was Source Code and I wish he’d do another movie soon. I’d love to see that scruffy, manly face on the big screen again.
7. Bradley Cooper
Now, don’t get me wrong Mr. Gyllenhaal…you’re eyes are beautiful and all but this guy here wins the grand daddy of prizes. And that constant scruff on his face is amazing. We all love him so I don’t think I need to elaborate any more here on lovely Mr. Cooper. MEOW!
6. Channing Tatum
WHY. ARE. YOU. SO. ADORABLE? If there’s any celebrity guy I’d date forever, it’d be Channing Tatum for sure. He’s just so funny and goofy and he is just any girls dream guy. He always plays himself in the movies he does and I think that just adds to his cuteness factor…who doesn’t love a guy who can always be himself on screen and off? It’s a shame he’s married…*sigh* next time.
5. Alex Pettyfer
Ok, we all know Alex Pettyfer is a douche (for the love of God, he dyes his hair and takes photo shoots of himself without a shirt…and apparently, he’s with a dog in this one to try and make himself seem less douchey) so I’ll admit it: I’d marry him just for his looks. With a body like that and a face like his, I’ll admit I’d be shallow and do it…maybe I’d be that girl that changes him for the better? Or is that too much wishful thinking? All I know is that I like his face. A lot.
4. William Levy
Ai papi! Todas las cosas que te hare! I’ll say it: He’s HOT. SMOKIN’ HOT. And this, folks, is why I’m taking Spanish and will someday move to a Spanish speaking country (well, there are other important factors, too, but I won’t get into those). He’s CUBAN. What a sexy latino! My God! LOOK AT THOSE LIPS! HOLY COW!
Now that I’m done having my mini heart attack, I’ll try to keep my teenage hormones in check. This guy is fantastic…he’s funny, kind, and also has the most gorgeous Cuban accent that sounds like Pitbull’s and Enrique’s had a baby and it called it William Levy’s voice. Sweet Jesus, I need to move on before I have a seizure.
3. Tom Hardy
I adore this guy. I really do. He’s one of my favorites because he’s got that “I’m going to do what I want and I really don’t care what you think about me” attitudes. He’s just doing his own thing and you don’t hear too much about him because he’s such a low-key guy. I just have a ton of respect for this man in the sense that he’s a phenomenal actor and has a British Accent (my God…I think I just realized I’ve got a thing for guys with accents). Plus who doesn’t love a guy with tattoos? That’s just plain hot.
2. Dave Franco
This boy! Sweet mother of pearl! Just the fact he’s in a suit makes my knees weak (I’m a sucker for a guy that cleans up nice). I honestly adore this guy more than his brother – yes, brother – James Franco. He’s got this “hipster-I-don’t-care-what-you-think-of-me” vibe and he just likes to be a giant weirdo (like myself). Go check out his Funnyordie channel…you won’t be sorry. But Dave Franco is honestly a really talented guy…I wouldn’t be surprised if I see him in more movies now after his wonderful performance in 21 Jump Street.
Dave Franco: Can you please come find me and make me your girlfriend? Though I’m 9 years younger than you (Can you believe this kid is 26?? HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S MY AGE!), we could make it work. I promise.
Ready for number 1? EEE, I’m so excited! I’m ready!
1. JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: if you’re ever reading this, I just want you to know that I think you’re the most talented actor I’ve ever seen…and I’d love it if you’d disregard all of the other 9 people before you and maybe call me sometime?
Like that’d ever happen but it was worth a shot. I love this guy and I mean it! He’s so talented in everything he does and plays the most dynamic characters with such grace…if I ever had the opportunity to meet him, I honestly don’t know what I would do…scream? Cry? Laugh? Spaz? God knows. But he’s definitely someone I’d love to meet in my lifetime…even if I’m some crusty 90 year old in a wheelchair and he’s – wait. He’d be dead, wouldn’t he? I’ve never been good at math.
Anyway, I love this guy and I support him in everything he does. VIVA HITRECORD.ORG!